Rod, part five of six - It's a Tie

"You won the court case and Earth Defense Fleet is giving you your back pay. How does it feel?", asked journalist Debbie Jameson-Peterson.

"And 4% interest and treble damages, said Acting Ensign Rod, Genocide, Retired", Rod replied with a smile.

"They said you are a machine, and not entitled to property."

"I was human enough for them when I signed up."

"They said more than half of your parts were replaced. You're a new entity."

"Ninth handle and 3rd blade, but the same axe. Most of your cells have been replaced too. My lawyer told me to use the 'Acting Ensign' bit. Never my first name."

"Your name's Rod?"

"That's my last name. First name's Tie."

"Ha! Sorry. Name Change?"

"Nope. Floe Rivers married Jack Hammer. Mom and Dad."

"At least it wasn't Barb Wire."

"That would be Grandma."

"Sorry I mentioned it. What do you do next?"

"Sweden, then upgrades."

"Sweden?"

"The Nobel Peace Prize. For killing billions."

"You ended the war. You saved countless billions."

"Buy one, get two free. I get an Ig Nobel too. No one ever got both."